Currently I am a member of a specific Facebook group where mums get to share and ask for each other for parenting help. I often feel saddened when one poor sleep deprived mum asks for sleep help for their baby or child. Nine times out of ten other mums share their ideas (which is great) but many say “suck it up” or “if you wanted sleep you shouldn’t have become a mum in the first place.” It can be a brutal world out there.
Not that long ago I was that sleep deprived mum, yet Facebook wasn’t a big thing. Hard to believe I know. I was curled up in a ball… my husband came home with advice and tips from another dad from his work, to help us with our daughter’s sleep or lack there of. I had been up every hour feeding, pumping and settling her. During the day I was lucky to get 45mins at a time. I didn’t ask Robert for help overnight because he was out working all day and I was a stay at home mum. This was my job right? Obviously I wasn’t very good at “faking it” or pretending to keep my shit together after all. I was an educated woman with over a decade of experience with children, so why was I finding this parenting gig so bloody tough? I WAS SLEEP DEPRIVED AND I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT THE HELL I WAS DOING!! I am still astounded you can just walk out of hospital with your baby, no questions asked. It’s harder to adopt a pet!! Anyway, I digress.
Ok, back to that moment, the old me would have told Robert to shove his so called “sleep knowledge” where the sun don’t shine. Well, I probably did say something like “so you think I’m a crap mother.” But the next day I digested what he said to me; I did some research, and I started to try a few settling techniques…. And guess what???? EUREKA IT WORKED!!
Now it wasn’t a magic solution, but what I got was guidance and knowledge about baby sleep and what to try to do to help her sleep a little longer for naps and at night. It took patience, consistency and teamwork. It worked because I gave up being stubborn and accepted the sleep help, support and advice I was offered.
The reason I want to share this moment with you is because it was a pivotal point in my life where I understood that asking for help, for anything, was far better than struggling through and “getting on with it.” We are not trained to be parents and we are not perfect. Whether you need sleep help, lactation support or even just a time out to shave your legs – ask for it!! By asking for help you are not a failure, you are finally accepting that you live in a loving community, not in isolation. As my mother used to say “a problem shared is a problem halved.”
Do you want some professional advice about your baby or child’s sleep? Are you looking for a holistic approach and not a quick fix? Do you want help from someone who has experienced what it is like to be a sleep deprived parent? Book here