What is the golden rule that will ensure bedtime is easier for the entire family?
So you had this sleep thing nailed, then your little one hit 2 years plus, and a problem sleeper appears like a bad dream. These sudden sleep issues can start as early as 20months and some don’t kick in until 3years or more. So what happens at this time?
1) A perfect sleeper suddenly starts waking for no reason catching parents unawares and they are unsure of what to do.
2) A child can now verbalise what they want, and don’t want, making sleepytime and pretty much most day-to-day activities a war.
If there was one golden rule that I know solves most sleep issues for children is this – CONSISTENCY. Yep it seems logical enough but being a parent myself, I know that being consistent can be difficult to execute all the time.
Everyday can be an emotional rollercoaster so I look for ways to take the emotion and myself out of the pitcure. Your child will want to argue with you over everything. They are supposed to! This is an important time when children understand they have control over their environment and they want to test it out. It is your role as their parent to guide them but essentially you need to ensure the rules are followed each and every time because YOU KNOW BEST.
I like to incorporate tools that children cannot argue with but are also fun. Here are my 3 best sleep tools I recommend for all parents…
1) A timer on a phone to count down the last 5minutes before bedtime. This signals the end of play and the start of wind down. Once the bell rings, it’s bedtime.
2) A visual bedtime routine to check off. Download one here. This keeps everything moving in the right direction – bed!
3) Use a sleep clock that indicates when it is sleepytime and when it is time to wake up. Children cannot argue with a clock. The best sleep clock I have found so far, and soon to be on the market, is Ooly. Ooly is not only button free, it is activated via mobile phone meaning you can change the time without even entering the bedroom. Check out all the features here.
Ooly Sleep Training Companion
These three sleep tools not only enable bedtime to run smoothly, they ensure that you are on track too. We are all busy and sometimes we need tools to help us too!
Sleep well,
Janelle Jeffery Child Sleep Consultant for Sleepytime
Want to find out about the best time to transition from a crib to a bed? Find out here.
I was so excited when it was time to transition my daughter from the cot to a bed. I researched it a lot. Well there were so many different styles of beds to choose from, was I going to keep the same theme in her room or change it? What linen did she need? What sort of mattress should I buy? Pillows? Do I get a couple of throw cushions too? Storage? Should I get matching drawers? Oh, so many questions, so much to consider, oh such fun!!
WHOA – HANG ON A SEC!
Yes, it is an exciting time when your little one is getting ready for a big bed, but is he really ready yet? Read this first to ensure a smooth transition for everyone.
When is the right time?
A big mistake you can make is to transition your child into a bed before he is ready. If you do move your child before he’s ready then often disaster will strike. You have a child battling bedtime and/or up all through the night. There is often a honeymoon period where your child goes to bed easily, sleeps through the night and you are all high fiving each other. After a few nights, weeks or months your child suddenly realises this new freedom and will happily explore his options.
I recommend…
Ensure your child is a great sleeper in a cot before you move him to a bed. If not, the problems will just transfer to the bed and it will be harder to rectify.
Wait until your child is 2.5years MINIMUM but hold off to 3years if you possibly can. Children younger than this are unable to completely understand the rules around bedtime and it will take longer to reinforce this.
The Next Step…
So you have a champion sleeper and his 3rd birthday is on the horizon. Here are some tips to help with a smooth transition.
1) RULES –
Sleeping in a big bed is a massive change for a child. Being a ‘big kid’ comes with responsibilities.
Golden Rule #1 “You cannot come out of bed until morning.”
So when is morning? You can either purchase a sleep clock of some kind; or the rule can be modified to “You cannot come out of bed until I come and get you in the morning.” If you go with option 2 and decide to not use a sleep clock, you must set a specific “getting up time” and stick with it. You cannot expect your child to get up at 6am one morning then 7am the next and be happy about it. A child is more likely to get out of bed in the early hours of the morning.
Golden Rule #2 is “If you need me in the night, call and I will come to you.” Never allow your child to come out to you because the first time he does this, and he is rewarded with attention, you will give him a green light to do it all the time. You child may test you by calling out over and over again. Annoying, but normal. If this is the case, tell him that this is the last visit and you will see him in the morning. Ignore all other calls.
2) BOUNDARIES –
Have a very clear and predictable bedtime routine. This is the same regardless if your child is in a cot or a bed. Children like visual prompts such as a bedtime routine chart. Click here to download.
Teamwork is important too. Same rules applies regardless of which adult is in charge!
3) PREPARE YOUR CHILD –
Before the big event, allow your child to be part of the excitement. Talk about the big change that is about to happen. Maybe he can come bed shopping with you? Maybe he can choose between 2 types of duvet/doona cover or sheets. Possibly he can pick out a reading lamp. I would avoid making it a surprise just in case it backfires. Some children do not handle change well, so building up to the change may need to take a few weeks or even a month depending on the temperament of your child.
4) PREPARE YOURSELF –
So how are you going to react when your little one does get out of bed? Trust me, it will happen at some point so if you prepare yourself before it happens then things will run a lot smoother. Attention positive or negative is still attention, so stay calm. Remind him of the bedtime rules of staying in bed and walk him back to bed. Be consistent, be consistent, and be consistent! You may need to repeat this over and over again. Depending on your child, it may take time for him to understand that you really mean “stay in bed until morning.” Toddlers and children need to test boundaries. It is your job as the parent to demonstrate that the rules will not change.
5) MORNING TIME –
Keep morning time the same as when your child was in his cot. If you are using a sleep clock, if you do not stick with the set time (even if it’s a minute to go) you will open a huge can of worms. Your child will think it is fine to get out at other times during the night. I repeat – Consistency is key! .
I transitioned my baby at 18months of age and everything was fine. Your child will be fine too.
I hear this all-the-time. Many well-meaning friends will advise you to transition your child earlier than is recommended. Their child was fine so why shouldn’t yours? You will certainly here this advice if your child is having trouble sleeping. If you or your friend have managed to transfer a child earlier than 2.5years and were successful, I take my hat off and say, “Wow you won the lottery there. Awesome and good for you!”
To read about the 5 most common reasons parents will transition their child from a cot to a bed earlier, click here.
My biggest piece of advice I can give you – don’t be persuaded to transition your child from a cot to a bed before your child is ready. I have had many people raise their eyebrows in horror when I say that 3years is the most ideal age to move to a bed. If you can wait it out, prepare your child, prepare yourself before you go for it – you will be much better off in the long run.
One final thought – sometimes things don’t go to plan. There will be some children no matter what foundations are laid will quite frankly rebel. Though disheartening, there are things that can be done to enable children to stay in their bed all night. If this is you, then it may be time to get a professional on hand. Contact me here to book in a time to chat.
Good luck with the transition! It can be a little daunting at first as change is hard on everyone. Remember this is an exciting time too. Enjoy it! I followed this exact advice and we have never had a nighttime visit. My daughter is now 6.
Sleep well,
Child Sleep Consultant for Sleepytime
Do you want to read more about children and sleep? Here are other posts you may be interested in.
Teach your child about the importance of sleep here
There have been some nasty bugs going around lately. Whether it is a cold, the flu, ear infection, gastro or anything else you can think of, when your little one is unwell, it can be difficult for the whole family. It can certainly be a shock to the system too if your baby, toddler or child WAS sleeping through the night and now they are frequently waking.
When ill, we all need as much rest as we can so our body can fight the infection.
Below are some tips to help you through the tough times.
Offer comfort. When your baby cries, go to them, they need you. Give them a kiss and a cuddle and give lots of reassurance.
Offer water. Keeping fluids up and remaining hydrated is important. Offering extra milk feeds at night should only be given if recommended by a physician. Feeding your baby back to sleep will make things harder once they are feeling better. Milk is not necessary.
Limit rocking and patting to sleep. If your baby isn’t used to you settling them this way, they may become more upset and confused. If you find this is the only way you can comfort your baby, then as soon as they are on the mend, stop.
Try not to bring your baby into bed with you – I find this one hard! A better option is to make a ‘make-shift’ bed in your baby’s room. They need their space to feel better.
Purchase a reliable thermometer so you can track their temperature.
Record the time when medication is administered. It can be hard to keep track in the middle of the night.
Use a “Vick’s Vapourizer” or “Medescan Rainbow Mist Humidifier”. Both work a little differently but they both can help with a snuffly nose or tickly chest. They are well worth the money.
When your baby rests, so do you. The last thing you need is for you to fall sick yourself so rest and re-cooperate whenever possible.
Health Direct Australia – 1800 002 222
If it isn’t an emergency, but you are wanting medical advice, calling Health Direct Australia is great because at first you will speak directly with a nurse and if she/he cannot advise you, you will be transferred to speak with a doctor.
After Hours GP
Chances are your baby will be ill over night when seeking medical treatment is limited. There are many after hour GP services that will come to your home during the night. Only drawback is that there is often a long wait time, but at least you are at home. Ask your local GP who they recommend so patient notes can be transferred.
Emergency
If it is an emergency, knowing where your child hospital is located, is crucial or phone 000.
Stay well and sleep tight!
Janelle Jeffery Child Sleep Consultant for Sleepytime
Contact me via email janelle@sleepytime.net.au or complete the online form to book in a time to chat about your little one’s sleep issues.
In my previous blog post, I wrote about 3 types of sleep gadgets to avoid that could actually prevent your child from sleeping soundly. If you didn’t read it, follow the link here.
Sleep aides can help promote sleep.
In this blog post I will share my top 4 sleep aides that can encourage your child to sleep a little better. With anything, I do like to keep things simple and I only introduce something if it is needed. Less is more when it comes to sleep.
1) Blackout blinds. A blackout blind or really thick curtains is a “must” in any child’s room. Darkness is needed for your body to produce melatonin. Melatonin is what makes you sleepy. With the summer months upon us, having a dark space to fall asleep at night BUT most importantly for morning, can help your child to sleep longer. Even the smallest peep of light in the wee hours can wake your child ready to start the day. Blinds can help with early risers.
2) Sleeping bags. I am a huge fan of sleeping bags for nights and naps, and they can be used from 3months of age right up to 3years. There are so many options available on the market allowing you to choose the perfect ‘tog’ (cloth weight) for your home environment. Every home will have a different room temperature so be guided by this. Sleeping bags help children to stay warm (not hot or cold) and snuggly though out the night. Sleeping bags are also recommended by SIDS and Kids. An added bonus is that sleeping bags can at times prevent children from climbing out of the cot.
3) A Sleeping Buddy. A small, soft, cuddly toy can help babies and children to wind down and fall to sleep. A sleeping buddy can help to resettle during the night or to extend a short nap. Children are tactile and need to feel, touch, smell and taste. Having a sleeping buddy can provide all of these. Many children do not bond with one because their sleeping buddy is a parent. Some children just do not want anything to sleep with and that is ok. Some children may not have a sleeping buddy until 3years or older. A sleeping buddy can help older children when they are feeling scared in the night. Introducing a soft toy into a cot or bed needs to be at the discretion of the parent as it can increase the risk of SIDS.
4) A Sleep Clock. If used consistently, a sleep clock can help children know when they need to stay in bed and when it is time to get out of bed in the morning. Children are governed by their internal clock and do not know when it is time to get up or not. A child doesn’t know the difference between 5am and 7am. A sleep clock is a visual clue and can take some pressure off you as it’s the sleep clock that says “stay in bed” and not you being the bad guy. A sleep clock will only work if you stick with the time. If you allow your child to get up even 5mins before the clock says it’s time to get up, you are opening the opportunity for an earlier and earlier start.
With any sort of sleep aide, they are only there to enhance the opportunity for sleep. Sleep aides may not make your child sleep longer and they cannot stop your child from waking up through the night. Sleep is a complex issue. If you would like more advice, then book in atime to chat here.
**If you wish to support an Australia online baby store visit Dream Child Emporium to purchase your sleep products.
Sleep well.
Janelle Jeffery Child Sleep Consultant for Sleepytime.
There is an endless stream of gizmos and gadgets on the market that promise to help your baby sleep. To be honest I have bought a few dud things that seemed like a great idea at the time. Here are a few gadgets to avoid as they can actually prevent your baby from sleeping well.
1 – Hanging mobiles. They look beautiful in a nursery. In fact they can be very useful – but not for sleep. As parents we think, “oh it would be so nice to watch it go around and around then fall asleep”. Well the opposite can happen. Mobiles stimulate your baby’s brain ready for play instead of winding down ready for sleep. Mobiles are wonderful hanging over the change table when you need to distract and entertain your baby whilst you have your hands full.
2) Flashing Lights. Electric aquariums or twinkling star shows, night lights with rotating colours can actually keep your baby awake. You want the room to be ‘’boring” and dark to promote good sleep.
3) Music machines. I am talking about anything that plays a song. Music has rises and falls and this could actually wake your baby when they are trying to drift off to sleep. If your baby has fallen asleep with music playing and the CD has stopped, they may wake wondering where the noise has gone. If you need anything at all, ‘white noise’ is a better choice as it is constant and unchanging.
If you have fallen into the trap of the bedtime circus, it is time to remove everything and get back to basics. The best ways to help your baby sleep are:
1 Routines
2 Sleep Cues
3 The opportunity to sleep independently
Easier said than done right? My philosophy around bedtime and ‘sleep devices’ is – keep it simple! If your baby is having difficulty sleeping, buying a gadget or gizmo will only put a bandaid on the problem and not tackle the root of the issue.
If you want your baby to sleep unassisted but feel confused or worried about where or how to start, I am here to help!!! Contact me here.
If you’re looking at what sleep products I do recommend, read more here.
Janelle Jeffery Child Sleep Consultant for Sleepytime Child Educator and Behaviour Specialist.
So you had this sleep thing nailed, then your little one hit 2 years plus, and a problem sleeper appears like a bad dream. These sudden sleep issues can start as early as 20months and some don’t kick in until 3years or more. So what happens at this time?
