Tag Archives: anxiety

Child Behaviour, Child Sleep, Parenting

The worry and the think

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The worry and the think

One hour ago I learnt a really huge lesson from my daughter. I learnt how to be a better parent.This is our story.

Miss E (6years) needed to bring a handkerchief to school for a prop for a dance they were doing. She was so excited because she had a special one her Grandma had given her for Christmas last year.

Two days ago Miss E mentioned that she realised that someone might take her handkerchief accidently or it might get lost. I said “Don’t worry, I’ll give you some fabric instead.”

Last night I put her to bed then went to find a piece of fabric. Chore complete, problem solved – tick!

Thirty minutes later Miss E came out of bed to find me. She was crying. She told me that she couldn’t sleep because she was worried about the handkerchief. Normally I would have said “don’t worry, it’s fine, go to sleep,” but I didn’t. I felt she needed more from me. I showed her the piece of fabric in her bag and on the way back to bed I explained we would go into class together to swap the handkerchief. She seemed happier. I tucked Miss E into bed then said, “hand me your worry.” Miss E placed her hand on my forehead and we kissed each other goodnight. I left.

This morning Miss E woke happily, we got ready for the day, then walked to school as normal.

THIS IS WHEN THE MAGIC HAPPENED…. Miss E stopped then said,

“Mummy, when you took away my worry, you took away ‘the think’ too.”

“The think?”

“Well, I stopped worrying but sometimes I still think about it. Last night you took the worry and the think. I fell asleep after that.”

This-just-blew-me-away. What I thought was a tiny little thing, really made a huge impact on both of us. This is what I learnt…

  1. Worry and/or over-thinking impacts sleep no matter what age you are.
  2. A worry may be insignificant to you but it can be a mountain to someone else, especially kids.
  3. Words don’t fix things, actions do. Always follow though.
  4. Don’t underestimate kids. They are smarter, wiser and more emotionally grounded than we give them credit for.

Parenting is a journey and today reminded me that Miss E and I are in this together.

Janelle Jeffery is a Sleep Consultant, Child Educator, Writer and a Mummy!
Janelle Jeffery -Sleep Consultant; Child Educator; Writer and most importantly a Mummy!

 

 

About Janelle, Parenting

Asking for help can be hard

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askhelpI can be quite an anxious person. When things start to get on top of me, everything else seems to snowball.

Over the past five years, there have been a series of huge events that have happened in my life. For a perfectionist trying to keep all the balls in the air, my anxiety does a very annoying thing – it manifest at night. All day I can keep myself busy, pretend the problems are not there; but at night, when the house is quiet, my mind switches on. The strange thing is that I seem to fall asleep fine, but at 3am I bolt upright, my brain turns on and the rest of the night is a struggle.

As a sleep consultant I find it quite humorous that I have trouble sleeping. Without consolidated sleep, my level of anxiety gets worse and though I try to fool myself that everything is fine and I just can’t keep it together. I can cry at the drop of a hat or explode if my husband looks at me the wrong way. Poor sod! I seemed to have permanent PMS.

Last year when everything reached it’s peak I was starting to show physical symptoms as well as emotional ones. I was chatting to my very good friend on the phone when I suddenly I burst into tears. She said “Janelle you need to get some professional help.” I knew that too but I felt like a failure, a phony, a fake. I felt like a fool.

I knew what the problem was and what I needed to change, but I just didn’t know how to. Everything I was trying wasn’t working anymore. I also knew it wasn’t going to be a quick fix. I needed a sounding board to make these changes in a way that would give me a long-term outcome – not a quick fix. I decided to visit a recommended psychologist to see if together we could give my brain some peace and quiet. I had to ask for help.

This is often the case with the many families I have helped with baby sleep. They know things need to change, but they just don’t know how. They want support – that is the key to long-term success.

Lots of friends and family can give you tips and advice. You can buy a book and find the answers yourself. I could have bought a self-help book and tried to do it myself but there comes a time to seek out professional help. It is not as scary as you may think. What is the worst that could happen? What is the best that could happen?

If you feel that the time is right for you so seek professional help for your baby’s sleep, I am here for you. Reach out and contact me. I understand – I have been there too.

Sleep Well,

Janelle Jeffery
Sleep Consultant for Sleepytime