Tag Archives: sleep training

About Janelle, Parenting

Asking for help can be hard

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askhelpI can be quite an anxious person. When things start to get on top of me, everything else seems to snowball.

Over the past five years, there have been a series of huge events that have happened in my life. For a perfectionist trying to keep all the balls in the air, my anxiety does a very annoying thing – it manifest at night. All day I can keep myself busy, pretend the problems are not there; but at night, when the house is quiet, my mind switches on. The strange thing is that I seem to fall asleep fine, but at 3am I bolt upright, my brain turns on and the rest of the night is a struggle.

As a sleep consultant I find it quite humorous that I have trouble sleeping. Without consolidated sleep, my level of anxiety gets worse and though I try to fool myself that everything is fine and I just can’t keep it together. I can cry at the drop of a hat or explode if my husband looks at me the wrong way. Poor sod! I seemed to have permanent PMS.

Last year when everything reached it’s peak I was starting to show physical symptoms as well as emotional ones. I was chatting to my very good friend on the phone when I suddenly I burst into tears. She said “Janelle you need to get some professional help.” I knew that too but I felt like a failure, a phony, a fake. I felt like a fool.

I knew what the problem was and what I needed to change, but I just didn’t know how to. Everything I was trying wasn’t working anymore. I also knew it wasn’t going to be a quick fix. I needed a sounding board to make these changes in a way that would give me a long-term outcome – not a quick fix. I decided to visit a recommended psychologist to see if together we could give my brain some peace and quiet. I had to ask for help.

This is often the case with the many families I have helped with baby sleep. They know things need to change, but they just don’t know how. They want support – that is the key to long-term success.

Lots of friends and family can give you tips and advice. You can buy a book and find the answers yourself. I could have bought a self-help book and tried to do it myself but there comes a time to seek out professional help. It is not as scary as you may think. What is the worst that could happen? What is the best that could happen?

If you feel that the time is right for you so seek professional help for your baby’s sleep, I am here for you. Reach out and contact me. I understand – I have been there too.

Sleep Well,

Janelle Jeffery
Sleep Consultant for Sleepytime

 

Parenting, Sleep Training Methods

“Sleep Training” is a Dirty Word

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sleeptimeSince becoming a child sleep consultant and the birth of Sleepytime, my eyes have been opened to the world of mummy bashing and misunderstanding.

When talking to parents about what I do, or post on Facebook, write an email or whatever, I am very, very careful not to mention the phrase “sleep training”. Why? It is taboo, a dirty word. I do not want to be condemned for it nor associated with it.

I started to question myself as to why I had a problem with it. It was because it made me feel icky. When you hear “sleep training” you think of this right?

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We immediately conjure up this picture of this teeny, tiny child being put through its paces. The sweat and tears to reach the ultimate goal of baby sleeping through the night. Hurrah!

Well guess what? Sleep consultants (good ones!!) DO NOT train babies, they TRAIN PARENTS. The definition of the word ‘training’ says it all. Training is the “acquisition of knowledge and skills.” A baby cannot do this. The word ‘training’ also means; instruction, teaching, coaching, guiding and educating.

A reputable sleep consultant (see below) actually spends the time educating parents as to why their child is having difficulty sleeping through the night and trouble with having decent naps in the day. They do not simply try to bandaid it and sell you a quick fix solution. Sleep consultants understand the why and they teach parents what they need to do to change that.

Sleep training is about giving parents the skills and tools to make those changes using the most gentle and effective way possible, putting the needs of the baby first. It is about empowering parents so THEY feel confident in what THEY are doing. Choose a sleep consultant that will listen to you and tailor a program to meet the needs of YOUR family.

The most important role of any sleep consultant is to provide guidance and support to the parents during this transition. Yep, it can be a bumpy road but it is important for parents to have someone on hand to instruct them through this. Someone to hold his or her hand. Someone to be there if things get a little rough.

If you need to get fit, you hire a personal trainer. My nephew goes to basketball and football training every week. When you start a new job you get ‘on the job training’. Being educated and learning new things is at the core of our existence.

So, my dirty little secret is finally out. Phew, I feel a weight being lifted off my shoulders. I, Janelle Jeffery am a sleep trainer. I do not train babies but I sure do train parents. I give families to best gift ever, the gift of sleep and I am proud of myself that I am able to offer this.

Sleep well,

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Janelle Jeffery

Sleep Consultant for Sleepytime.

Make sure you check the following criteria before hiring any sleep consultant.
• Are they qualified?
• Will they tailor a program to suit the needs of your child?
• Will they listen to your concerns?
• Will they be there to support you every step of the way?

Contact me here!

Child Behaviour, Child Sleep, Sleep Training Methods, Toddler Sleep

Does your child have ‘Jack-in-the-box’ syndrome?

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jackintheboxWhat did you say? I said ‘Jack-in-the-box syndrome! This is a child who just loves getting out of bed to see where you are and what you are up too- all hours of the night!!! You walk them back to their bed, and before you know it they are hot on your heels.

This can be frustrating and exhausting for parents who eventually ‘give in’ and let their child either sleep on the couch or hop into their bed, just so the family can get a little sleep. This problem is very common and it usually starts around 2-3 years of age. I speak with many families whereby the dad has been banished from the bed altogether. This sleeping arrangement is not sustainable, nor is it healthy for your relationship with your partner. Your bed is YOUR bed and that is the way it needs to be so you can all get a good night’s sleep.

So, what can you do to solve this problem?

Wait to Transition into a Bed

I would not transition a toddler into a ‘big bed’ until at least 2.5 years of age. The later, the better! Many parents transition their child far too early, trying to fix an existing bad sleep situation only to find it’s worse now they have the freedom to get out on their own.

Communication

Even if your child is not completely verbal, their understanding is amazing. During the day set the expectations for the night in simple ‘kid-friendly’ language. Tell them they will stay in bed the entire night until it’s morning time (at least 6am). I like using a visual timetable that outlines each step of the bedtime routine with the last picture showing them in their bed. Get creative! Bedtime is non-negotiable from here on in.

Rewards

Children are egocentric. If there is something in if for them, they will want to do it. Get a reward chart ready to go and make a big deal about it. Get a ‘treat bag’ and fill it with little surprises. These do not need to be expensive. Items such as books, hair clips, cars and play-dough work well. Each night they remain in their bed, they will earn a sticker on their chart as well as a treat from the bag. Work towards a surprise at the end, like an outing or a special toy.

Consistency

Children test boundaries. They need to know that the rules are the rules no matter what. Rules enable them feel safe and secure in their environment. Children will try and try again to work around the rules BUT really they want you to say ‘NO’. Once you ‘give in’ you will create a bigger problem. Children quickly learn that you mean what you say only some of the time. You need to be strong and firm and have routines in place. If you are consistent all of the time, then the transition will be a lot easier. Change is hard for everybody and it will be met with some protest from your child. Remember you are doing what is best for them AND for your entire family.

Fun

Make bedtime fun. You don’t want your little one dreading bedtime because it’s when they are banished to their room, alone, missing out on the fun elsewhere. Sing songs, read a book together, talk about the day. Purchase some special pyjamas and let them choose which ones to wear.

All children at some stage will want to get out of bed and hop into yours. Armed with this knowledge, the key to success is to be prepared for it. Each night needs to be predictable and you need to be consistent. I have provided some simple tips that can certainly improve the sleep situation overall. The good news is that it is achievable but toddlers/children can be tricky customers. If you find that it is all too difficult, remember I can help you to solve this once and for all with a tailored plan and support program. Contact me here for more information.

Sleep Well,

Janelle Jeffery