Tag Archives: Janelle Jeffery

Parenting, Sleep Training Methods

“Sleep Training” is a Dirty Word

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sleeptimeSince becoming a child sleep consultant and the birth of Sleepytime, my eyes have been opened to the world of mummy bashing and misunderstanding.

When talking to parents about what I do, or post on Facebook, write an email or whatever, I am very, very careful not to mention the phrase “sleep training”. Why? It is taboo, a dirty word. I do not want to be condemned for it nor associated with it.

I started to question myself as to why I had a problem with it. It was because it made me feel icky. When you hear “sleep training” you think of this right?

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We immediately conjure up this picture of this teeny, tiny child being put through its paces. The sweat and tears to reach the ultimate goal of baby sleeping through the night. Hurrah!

Well guess what? Sleep consultants (good ones!!) DO NOT train babies, they TRAIN PARENTS. The definition of the word ‘training’ says it all. Training is the “acquisition of knowledge and skills.” A baby cannot do this. The word ‘training’ also means; instruction, teaching, coaching, guiding and educating.

A reputable sleep consultant (see below) actually spends the time educating parents as to why their child is having difficulty sleeping through the night and trouble with having decent naps in the day. They do not simply try to bandaid it and sell you a quick fix solution. Sleep consultants understand the why and they teach parents what they need to do to change that.

Sleep training is about giving parents the skills and tools to make those changes using the most gentle and effective way possible, putting the needs of the baby first. It is about empowering parents so THEY feel confident in what THEY are doing. Choose a sleep consultant that will listen to you and tailor a program to meet the needs of YOUR family.

The most important role of any sleep consultant is to provide guidance and support to the parents during this transition. Yep, it can be a bumpy road but it is important for parents to have someone on hand to instruct them through this. Someone to hold his or her hand. Someone to be there if things get a little rough.

If you need to get fit, you hire a personal trainer. My nephew goes to basketball and football training every week. When you start a new job you get ‘on the job training’. Being educated and learning new things is at the core of our existence.

So, my dirty little secret is finally out. Phew, I feel a weight being lifted off my shoulders. I, Janelle Jeffery am a sleep trainer. I do not train babies but I sure do train parents. I give families to best gift ever, the gift of sleep and I am proud of myself that I am able to offer this.

Sleep well,

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Janelle Jeffery

Sleep Consultant for Sleepytime.

Make sure you check the following criteria before hiring any sleep consultant.
• Are they qualified?
• Will they tailor a program to suit the needs of your child?
• Will they listen to your concerns?
• Will they be there to support you every step of the way?

Contact me here!

About Janelle, Parenting

Just One Child

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My Family

Growing up I had my life all mapped out before it really began. Once I had finished university, I would travel the world, meet my hunky husband, get married at 25, and have 2 kids before I turned 30. Yep, that was the plan, and I am a planner!

Well I have recently turned 35 and I can pretty much tick off most things on that list. I finished university with a Bachelor of Education, travelled the world, meet and married my Englishman, got married at 26 (close) and had my first baby at 31 (not too far off either).

It took my husband and I 18months to fall pregnant with Miss E. We were thrilled and relieved that it had finally happened. In my head, I would have had the next baby quite close, but in reality, I found the adjustment from full-time teacher, jetsetter and wine connoisseur to full-time boob, vomit washer and bum cleaner difficult. We decided to wait a while before trying for the next one.

So Miss E turned 2 and we knew the time was right. Fast forward and Miss E is turning 4 and there is no baby. What I have difficulty with is when strangers ask, “so how many children do you have?” My response is always the same “just one”. I don’t have a problem with the question; I have a problem with the answer – ‘just’. Miss E should never be a ‘just’, she doesn’t deserve that. She is my everything and we are truly blessed to be given ‘one’. That ‘just one’ makes my tummy hurt and makes me a little sad too.

Honestly, some days I feel relieved I have one child. I get lots of time with her, we are so very close, and she is out of nappies – hurray! Some days I feel like I have let Miss E down. When she sees siblings playing together, she asks me if one day she can be a ‘big sister’ too. This breaks my heart. Have I failed her?

So, to my ‘big girl’ Miss E, I love you to the moon and back. I may not be able to give you a sibling, but I can give you my heart. I will try to choose my words more carefully next time, as I never want you to be a “just one”. I want you to be “the one!”

Sleep well,

Janelle Jeffery

About Janelle, Child Sleep, Toddler Sleep

No nap- No Way!

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nonapSince my daughter turned three, everyone was telling me to drop that nap! My daughter was always late to drop all her previous naps, so I wanted her to keep it for two main reasons:

1- I wanted her to be ready
2- I wasn’t ready

When she hit 3.5yrs the first point came true- she was showing signs of dropping the nap. Miss E would either fight going down at all, or she would sleep for three hours or more. The long nap seemed like a gift- but what it would mean was that she took forever to fall asleep at night. Some nights it took over an hour for her to finally fall asleep and that was with numerous visits to her bedroom begging her to ‘settle down’ or sternly stating, “it’s sleepytime” over the monitor.

BUT- I wasn’t ready. How would I get all my jobs done during the day without it? Where would I squeeze in “my time” during the day? No nap- no way!

A close friend gave me a reason that finally encouraged me to give it up. She said, “Think about all the things you WILL be able to do during the day. Not having to fly home in the middle of the day for her nap is a bonus.” Ok I may be losing out in some areas, but having the freedom to go out and stay out sounded wonderful. I was ready to give it a go.

Whenever you change a child’s sleep situation, you need to be patient to allow for the body to adjust. For quite a few weeks, Miss E would be really tired during the day and she would even fall asleep in the car. I decided that on some days I would pop on a movie after lunch and let her snuggle her cuddly toy. This allowed me to have some time to myself and it gave her quiet time without the sleep. This really worked well for us.

Ok- occasionally I do offer that midday nap. I am very concerned about Miss E becoming ‘overtired’ so if I really feel that she is just not going to make it until bedtime without a meltdown – I limit the nap to 1 hour and I put her to bed later in the evening.

Since accepting that Miss E was getting older and saying ‘farewell’ to the nap, night times have improved ten fold.

Even though friends and my own expertise were telling me to do something, until I was ready to make that change, I felt it just wasn’t going to work.

Are you ready to drop that nap? To purchase a comprehensive guide to nap transitions, click here.

Sleep well,

Janelle Jeffery

About Janelle, Parenting

Child Sleep Apnoea – The day my daughter nearly died.

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apnoeaWell, a while ago, I nearly lost my daughter. It’s funny because most of the time I forget, and that is ok. Life goes on. She is fine now. Just get over it. What people don’t know is that I will never forget that moment when my daughter stopped breathing and I could have lost her forever. It changes a person.

Emily was a reflux baby. Gosh, it was a miracle when she wasn’t throwing up all over the place. By about 7 months, it had resolved itself and thankfully we all moved on. From 8 months old, she developed this constant running nose. She was one of those ‘snotty kids’. By 10 months old, she could wipe her own nose with a tissue it was that bad. We thought about buying shares in Kleenix! This runny nose coincided with her starting daycare.

After months and months of colds and ear infections that simply would never go away, I was adamant that something was not right. Often being fobbed off by doctors that is was ‘environmental’ due to daycare, I was thinking I was becoming just another paranoid, over sensitive mum.

The biggest red flag for me was that she was always tired. Emily was an awesome sleeper. She slept through the night – all night and took very long naps during the day. I just couldn’t understand how on earth she was constantly exhausted.

We finally got a referral to an ENT. During the appointment, he was once again fobbing me off. He told me it would pass and to just accept it. I felt frustrated and deflated. I wanted answers. He suggested if I really wanted to, I could take her for an over-night sleep test. Would I, wouldn’t I? Maybe it was all in my head.

Long story short, I did take her for that test and guess what? She was diagnosed with ‘severe sleep apnoea’ and required surgery immediately as the strain on her heart and body was immense – she could have died. This is not the time I nearly lost her. The story continues.

So at 18months, Emily was booked in to have her tonsils and adenoids removed and grommets inserted into her ears. There are always risks when performing surgery on babies. We were told this but we what choice did we have?

The day Emily went into hospital, we were nervous but relieved this problem was going to be sorted once and for all. Robert my husband kissed her ‘good-bye’ as she went into theatre. We waited patiently for her return.

The minutes were ticking by. No news. More minutes when by. No news. We were starting to get worried. Finally she was out. Phew! I was allowed to go into recovery to see her. There they told me that Emily had stopped breathing in theatre but they got her back. This was not the time I nearly lost her either.

Emily was starting to breath on her own so the nurses were preparing to wheel her onto the ward. Then it happened. Emily stopped breathing right before my eyes. Alarms, sirens, running, shouting – it IS just like the movies. Here I was, watching my daughter die. Silence. Spinning. Was this really happening?

A few minutes later – a lifetime for me, Emily started breathing. This was the moment I nearly lost my daughter, my only daughter, forever.

I don’t ever talk about this with friends and family. I don’t feel I need to anymore. Why am I sharing it with you? I learnt a valuable lesson, and I want to tell every parent.

“You know your child best. Don’t take ‘no’ for an answer. If you truly believe something is not right – find someone who will listen.”

Today Emily is a happy and healthy three year old. I am a lucky mum to have her in my life. I am thankful for all the staff at Princess Margaret Hospital. I am proud that I listened to my inner voice. I have a wonderful husband who supported me through this. Life is good.

Janelle Jeffery

About Janelle, Baby Sleep, Parenting

Perfect Parenting, is there such a thing?

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perfectparentToday, parents put an awful lot of pressure on themselves and each other to be these super parents who do everything and anything perfectly. When we don’t follow the exclusively breastfed, bamboo wearing, organic growing lifestyle, we are judged by everyone around us.

I came to the conclusion very early on that it doesn’t matter what wonderful things you are doing with, or for your child, someone is quick to tell you, you are doing something wrong. The media has a lot to answer for. It is a lot of pressure to conform and so I beg the question, why are mum’s so hard on each other?

My saving grace was my awesome local mother’s group. I must admit, I was nervous attending as I could just imagine all these mum’s sitting around comparing prams, outfits, how long their child slept for, how ‘easy natured’ their child was and who was the first to smile, roll, sit etc. Argh!!!

In fact it was the opposite. We talked about how hard things were, the sleepless nights, the painful breastfeeding and the loss of freedom. It was so refreshing to be around like-minded mums who were all there for support and friendship, and not judgement or competition. Not all groups are like mine, so if you are not happy with yours, look for another one!

The difference between ideal parenting and real parenting is interesting. It all started for me with an emergency c-section instead of a vaginal birth. From there, after six extremely difficult months attempting to breastfeed, I finally accepted that it just wasn’t what my body was meant to do. Having a reflux baby who projectile vomited all day and everyday meant I WAS one of those mum’s who left the house with vomit on her clothes. Reality is far from the beautiful picture of motherhood I had in my head pre-baby.

At the end of each day I could reflect on all the things I didn’t do, or things I could have done better OR I can pour that gorgeous glass of wine as I cook baked beans in the microwave and think- I am a great mother, who loves her daughter so very much. I am doing the best that I can!

Cheers and let us celebrate how awesome we all are!

Sleep Well,

Janelle Jeffery