Category Archives: Parenting

Parenting Topics

The time I gave up and accepted sleep help for my baby.

May 18, 2016 Janelle Leave a comment

Accepting or asking for help is hard but so wroth it.

Currently I am a member of a specific Facebook group where mums get to share and ask for each other for parenting help. I often feel saddened when one poor sleep deprived mum asks for sleep help for their baby or child. Nine times out of ten other mums share their ideas (which is great) but many say “suck it up” or “if you wanted sleep you shouldn’t have become a mum in the first place.” It can be a brutal world out there.

Not that long ago I was that sleep deprived mum, yet Facebook wasn’t a big thing. Hard to believe I know. I was curled up in a ball… my husband came home with advice and tips from another dad from his work, to help us with our daughter’s sleep or lack there of. I had been up every hour feeding, pumping and settling her. During the day I was lucky to get 45mins at a time. I didn’t ask Robert for help overnight because he was out working all day and I was a stay at home mum. This was my job right? Obviously I wasn’t very good at “faking it” or pretending to keep my shit together after all. I was an educated woman with over a decade of experience with children, so why was I finding this parenting gig so bloody tough? I WAS SLEEP DEPRIVED AND I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT THE HELL I WAS DOING!! I am still astounded you can just walk out of hospital with your baby, no questions asked. It’s harder to adopt a pet!! Anyway, I digress.

Ok, back to that moment, the old me would have told Robert to shove his so called “sleep knowledge” where the sun don’t shine. Well, I probably did say something like “so you think I’m a crap mother.” But the next day I digested what he said to me; I did some research, and I started to try a few settling techniques…. And guess what???? EUREKA IT WORKED!!

Now it wasn’t a magic solution, but what I got was guidance and knowledge about baby sleep and what to try to do to help her sleep a little longer for naps and at night. It took patience, consistency and teamwork. It worked because I gave up being stubborn and accepted the sleep help, support and advice I was offered.

The reason I want to share this moment with you is because it was a pivotal point in my life where I understood that asking for help, for anything, was far better than struggling through and “getting on with it.” We are not trained to be parents and we are not perfect. Whether you need sleep help, lactation support or even just a time out to shave your legs – ask for it!! By asking for help you are not a failure, you are finally accepting that you live in a loving community, not in isolation. As my mother used to say “a problem shared is a problem halved.”

Do you want some professional advice about your baby or child’s sleep? Are you looking for a holistic approach and not a quick fix? Do you want help from someone who has experienced what it is like to be a sleep deprived parent? Book here

Janelle Jeffery Child Sleep Consultant for Sleepytime — Janelle Jeffery
Child Sleep Consultant for Sleepytime

Baby Sleep, Child Sleep, Parenting, Sleep Products, Toddler Sleep

What to do when sickness strikes

May 10, 2016 Janelle Leave a comment

A sick baby affects the whole family. — A sick baby affects the whole family

There have been some nasty bugs going around lately. Whether it is a cold, the flu, ear infection, gastro or anything else you can think of, when your little one is unwell, it can be difficult for the whole family. It can certainly be a shock to the system too if your baby, toddler or child WAS sleeping through the night and now they are frequently waking.

When ill, we all need as much rest as we can so our body can fight the infection.

Below are some tips to help you through the tough times.

Offer comfort. When your baby cries, go to them, they need you. Give them a kiss and a cuddle and give lots of reassurance.
Offer water. Keeping fluids up and remaining hydrated is important. Offering extra milk feeds at night should only be given if recommended by a physician. Feeding your baby back to sleep will make things harder once they are feeling better. Milk is not necessary.
Limit rocking and patting to sleep. If your baby isn’t used to you settling them this way, they may become more upset and confused. If you find this is the only way you can comfort your baby, then as soon as they are on the mend, stop.
Try not to bring your baby into bed with you – I find this one hard! A better option is to make a ‘make-shift’ bed in your baby’s room. They need their space to feel better.
Purchase a reliable thermometer so you can track their temperature.
Record the time when medication is administered. It can be hard to keep track in the middle of the night.
Use a “Vick’s Vapourizer” or “Medescan Rainbow Mist Humidifier”. Both work a little differently but they both can help with a snuffly nose or tickly chest. They are well worth the money.
When your baby rests, so do you. The last thing you need is for you to fall sick yourself so rest and re-cooperate whenever possible.

Health Direct Australia – 1800 002 222

If it isn’t an emergency, but you are wanting medical advice, calling Health Direct Australia is great because at first you will speak directly with a nurse and if she/he cannot advise you, you will be transferred to speak with a doctor.

After Hours GP

Chances are your baby will be ill over night when seeking medical treatment is limited. There are many after hour GP services that will come to your home during the night. Only drawback is that there is often a long wait time, but at least you are at home. Ask your local GP who they recommend so patient notes can be transferred.

Emergency

If it is an emergency, knowing where your child hospital is located, is crucial or phone 000.

Stay well and sleep tight!

Contact me via email janelle@sleepytime.net.au or complete the online form to book in a time to chat about your little one’s sleep issues.

About Janelle, Parenting

Mum to One

November 26, 2015 Janelle 4 Comments

The universe told me to write this post. You will be privy to something deep inside my soul. This is about my journey being a mum to one child.

Over 18months ago I wrote a blog post called “Just One Child.” In this post I shared the issue I had with my personal response to the question “How many children do you have?” – “Just One.” My response said I felt guilty about not being able to produce a sibling for our beautiful daughter Emily. What is said was that I was less of a woman because I could not perform the most basic thing. It reinforced that I was a failure.

After writing that piece, I did change my attitude and response. Now I happily say “I have one!”

Robert and I have been trying to have another baby for over three years. With Emily nearly 6, it has been quite the journey. With taking a multitude of vitamins, checking my temperature daily, tracking my menstrual cycle, checking my bodily fluids even visiting a fertility treatment centre, we felt we tried the best we could. Yes we could have tried more, but we just didn’t have it in us. Trying for so long we just needed to get off that rollercoaster. In the end we realized that we were so blessed. We have the most amazingly smart, funny, imaginative, breathtaking little girl who is our everything. We accepted that it just wasn’t going to happen for us.

This year has been a real turning point for me. When I see babies or pregnant bellies, the feeling in the pit of my stomach isn’t as intense. That jealousy is fading. Yes it is still there from time to time but most of the time I feel nothing but happiness for that mum. This has been a huge leap forward for me.

Four months ago I felt ready to sell the pram. I kid you not, I said to the poor mum buying it “You can’t have it unless you promise to look after it.” It took me a long time to feel that I was ready to let it go. It wasn’t just a pram, it was so much more.

When there is change, there are setbacks. Unfortunately these setbacks catch you out. Only a few weeks ago I was sitting in a meeting with 5 other colleagues. As we were saying our goodbyes, one asked, “So are you having any more children?” I proudly and confidently responded “No.” Then she shocked me by asking “Why?” With 5 faces all staring at me, my tough exterior was shattered. My brain kept saying over and over “how can she ask me this?” This question came from a mum of one too. Weren’t we on the same team? Luckily everyone else in the room could see the horror on my face and jumped in and rescued me by saying how amazing Emily was. So clearly, I am not totally over it.

Robert and I often talk about our “little family.” Now interestingly we focus on all the positives about having one child and in fact one starting “big school” next year. We no longer have nappies to change, toilet training to implement or dictated by nap schedules. We don’t need to get up a thousand times a night.

For Emily, she gets the best of both worlds. She spends a lot of time with friends at school, after school and on weekends. She is also very close to her cousins. On the plus side, she also gets true down time where she doesn’t need to negotiate with others or share her toys. She gets a choice of mummy or daddy to read her a story or even both. She still manages to fight with her fur sister Minnie Moo (the cat), but at the end of the day, it is what it is.

No matter how much guilt I carry or call myself a failure, I cannot suddenly make my body grow a baby. What I do have control over is getting the support I need to deal with the grief. What I have control over is how I respond to those road bumps and pick myself up along the way.

I have a lot to be thankful for. I have the most amazing daughter who is a pure miracle. I have the most loving husband who is my best friend. I am lucky to have so many people in my life who really do love me for me, warts and all. I can no longer dwell on what I cannot change or cannot have.

This is my personal journey being a mum to one. It isn’t over but I can see the light. If you are a mum to one or even a mum to none and are struggling right now, I hear you and I see you. Lean on people around you. Allow yourself to grieve. It does get easier.

Am I completely accepting and ok that I am the mum to one? No. Do I think I will be some day? Yes

About Janelle, Child Sleep, Parenting, Sleep Products, Toddler Sleep

My daughter sucks her fingers!

August 20, 2015 Janelle Leave a comment

Sucking fingers or a thumb is a self-soothing strategy.

Before I became a parent I had this mental list of “my child will never…” One of those specifically was “my child will never suck their thumb.” I was really against it and thought it was a “bad habit” kids had.

Once Emily arrived she quickly refused the dummy and decided to suck her fingers instead. I guess technically it wasn’t her thumb!! At first I was really concerned as I had images of my beautiful little girl having horrendous bucked teeth.

Once learning more about infant sleep, I realised that finger and thumb sucking was in fact the perfect “self-settling tool” as the sucking sensation calms and soothes. It was something she could do for herself. Emily was an excellent sleeper and the finger sucking was only for sleep, not all through the day.

Fast forward and Emily is now 5. Recently we visited a dentist and we were told her front teeth were starting to move forward. She advised us that stopping this habit was best done prior to her permanent teeth coming though.

I was dreading tackling this issue because Emily was such a great sleeper and I didn’t want to mess with that, also I didn’t want her to be upset. I’m such a wimp!

So operation finger sucker began…

1) Talk – In the lead up to preventing Emily from sucking her fingers during the night we talked a lot about why we needed to stop the habit. I showed her a couple of pictures of children on the Internet that had bucked teeth. This wasn’t to scare her but to help explain what we were trying to prevent.

2) Reward – We talked about what we could do to reward her for not sucking her fingers. She decided she wanted to have earn a lolly every morning she didn’t suck her fingers. After 10 mornings, she wanted to go ten-pin bowling. Yep, I wouldn’t have picked that one!

3) Begin small – For a fortnight before starting, Emily stopped sucking her fingers during story time. This was difficult but not impossible for her. Giving lots of praise was crucial.

4) Tool – I decided Emily needed a tool to help her, as just asking her to not suck her fingers would be impossible plus I couldn’t watch her all through the night to check. I bought a “T-Guard™” which is basically a device that slips over the fingers (or thumb) to prevent suction. It is this suction that is comforting and pleasurable for children. It is the suction that pulls the teeth forward.

So with everything in place, we started “operation finger sucker”. I am shocked that Emily is doing so well. We are 5 nights into it and so far so good. Not being able to monitor everything that is going on is tricky, so I have to hope that it is working. I wish I had a video monitor!!

Emily is not thrilled about no longer sucking her fingers but she is settling really well at night and after a few early mornings, she is right on track. She is excited every morning to get a lolly in her bag plus a step closer to bowling. It is recommended she wear the guard for 45 nights so I guess we have a long way to go.

Sleep well.

Janelle Jeffery Child Sleep Consultant for Sleepytime Child Educator and Behaviour Specialist. — Janelle Jeffery
Child Sleep Consultant for Sleepytime.

Child Behaviour, Child Sleep, Parenting, Sleep Training Methods, Toddler Sleep

Toddlers who climb out of their cot

July 6, 2015 Janelle Leave a comment

Cot or crib climbing can be scary for parents.

The first time your toddler climbs out of their cot can be really terrifying. Safety is paramount and it should never be ignored. Before you rush into buying a bed, there are a few things you can try first.

I am not a huge advocate for transferring toddlers immediately to a bed because many children under the age of 2.5years are not ready to understand the rules of being in a bed. There is always a honeymoon period whereby toddlers stay in bed, but before long your toddler has free roam of the house and that can be a bigger safety issue than climbing out of their cot.

If your toddler climbs out of their cot or attempts to climb out, here are a few tips and tricks to try:

1) Find a sleeping bag that has limited legroom. This restricts access to your child being able to lift their leg and climb out.

2) Lower the mattress. Some cots have a variety of height levels for the mattress. Make sure it is at the lowest level making it higher and harder to climb out.

3) Remove any pillows, blankets or toys that can be used as leverage to get out. This may also include a dresser or drawers that butt up to the cot.

4) Some cots are designed to have one side that is higher than the other. This side is usually pushed up against the wall. If you have this style of cot, turn it around so the outer side is higher making it more difficult to climb.

So you have tried all these things and your toddler is still climbing. This is what to try next:

1) If you have a video monitor, every time your toddler attempts to climb out, either say “no” over the monitor or go into the room and say “no”. You may need to do this over and over again. Do not get into a long conversation about why they need to stay there. Simply “no” or “no climbing” and that is it.

2) If you do not have a video monitor, keep the door ajar so you can still see your toddler. Every time they attempt to climb out, go into the room and say “no”. Again you may need to do this over and over again.

3) If you are worried that your toddler may climb out once you are asleep, then make sure they have a safe landing. Many climbers can actually do it very safely. I recommend placing a mattress on the floor so they are not hurt if they do make it out of the cot.

If your toddler does manage to “escape” always walk them back, place them back into the cot and say, “no climbing”. Again you may need to repeat this over and over again. You need to be patient, calm and persevere.

It can be tempting to pack away the cot and buy a bed, but trust me, I have worked with many parents who find themselves with a toddler always hopping out of bed and either crawling into their bed or turning on the television at some crazy hour of the night. It can be even more dangerous if you have stairs or outside doors that can open easily. It is much harder to keep a toddler contained once they are in a bed.

If you have tried all these tips and tricks and you are still finding your toddler is climbing out, contact me here.

Help your child to love sleep