Tag Archives: sleep

Toilet Training and Sleep

It is such a momentous time in your child’s life when they become free of nappies and are learning to toilet train. Unfortunately this huge change in your child’s life can really affect sleep.

Toilet training can really affect your child's sleep.
Toilet training can really affect your child’s sleep.

1. Increased night wake ups

Just like any other developmental milestone, the brain is very active at night making sense of all the new information it has learnt. A very active mind can cause your child to wake up more frequently. If your child could sleep independently before toilet training began, then they can during and after – as long as you are consistent with your approach. You may need to attend to your child more frequently during the night, but once you know they are fine, then leave them to fall asleep on their own without your help.

2. Toilet requests at bedtime

Always include a trip to the toilet before a nap and before bedtime in your standard sleep time routine. For a while your child may call out and request a visit to the toilet. This can be difficult for parents as it can feel like a stalling technique. I am sure your child will eventually realise it can be used as one so your judgement here is crucial. If you have had 3 visits to the toilet with no success, then ignore any other requests past that point. You may have a few accidents in bed, but that is part of the joy of toilet training.

3. Requests during the night

So your child is now waking up during the night to go to the toilet. This again is part of the process of learning those toileting cues. Yes you may have a few months of getting up during the night, but again, once your child has been to the toilet, leave them alone to fall asleep independently.

4. Milk at bedtime

If you are still including a bottle or cup of milk during the bedtime routine, I urge you to cut this out of the routine once toilet training has commenced. This will reduce the midnight visits to the toilet.

A child learning how to use the toilet can be a fast or slow process. Not all children are the same so the more relaxed and chilled out you are about it, the better it will be all round. Yes your child’s sleep will be disturbed for a while, but if you are consistent with your approach and you continue to encourage independent sleeping habits, the easier it will be for everyone.

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Janelle Jeffery

Child Sleep Consultant for Sleepyime

5 Hot Tips to Summer Sleep Success

Summer is fast approaching so before we know it we will have our aircons on full blast and sweat dripping down our faces, legs other??? Ewww. Summer also means a very full social calendar and longer days filled with endless daylight. Have you already noticed a change in your child’s sleep? I sure have!

So this got my brain ticking and my fingers typing. Here are my 5 hot tips for summer sleep success.

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#1 Consistent and Predictable Routines and Schedules

It is so important that you approach bedtime they same as you would any other time of year. If bedtime is 700pm, stick to that time. (Note – if you have daylight savings, then move to the new time as quickly as you can then stick with that schedule.) With social events filling the diary, it can be tempting to stretch out bedtime or forgo daytime naps. Once and a while this is okay, but the less sleep your child has, the more difficult sleep will become overtime.

 

#2 Dark, dark, dark

Whether you have daylight savings or not, at the end of the day we are all trying to get our children to sleep when there is daylight. Make sure your child’s room is super dark. Darkness helps to trigger the pineal gland to release melatonin into the body. Melatonin makes us sleepy. If you do not already have block-out curtains, purchase a blackout blind like the “Gro Anywhere Blind”. These are removable and can be taken with you wherever you go.

 

#3 Drink lots of water

When our bodies are dehydrated, it can interfere with sleep. If you are flying, drinking lots of water reduces the effects of jet-lag. Adults should reduce alcohol consumption and children should avoid sugary drinks.

 

#4 Keep an eye on the temperature

Before bed, make sure your child is engaged in quiet activities. If your child is running around, their temperature will increase making it harder to fall asleep. It is just like exercising before bed.

As the temperature during the night dips, if you run a fan or air-conditioner in your child’s room, they may wake from feeling cold. Set a timer if you can and stop it before midnight.

 

#5 Do not engage in the battle of the wills

Older children will question “Why do I have to go to bed, the sun is still up?” Yep it sure is. Sticking to your guns and not engaging in an argument is important. Referring back to Tip #1 and Tip#2, if you are 100% consistent with your routines and schedules, and you darken the room as much as possible, this will help your child to fall asleep.

School age children may go to bed a little later over the summer holidays but 2 weeks before school returns, begin to transition them back to their usual bedtime.

 

So enjoy these summer months. I love this time of year as it is all about spending time with love ones, being outdoors and BBQs!! Yummy!! How about you?

 

Sleep well,

Janelle Jeffery

Child Sleep Consultant for Sleepytime

The Battle of the Experts

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Something very interesting when down on Facebook last night. I follow Pinky McKay (popular lactation consultant) who published an article on BubHub called “Does my baby need a feeding routine?” What makes this interesting is that Tizzie Hall (Sleep Professional) took offence and posted a response. I follow both these ladies out of interest first and foremost, but because they seem to be the extreme of each other. Here is their argument.

Pinky McKay wrote, “expecting a baby to eat according to a strict regime, which restricts the duration and quantity of feeds, is not only unrealistic but can also contribute to a failure to thrive.” What Pinky is basically saying is that if you put your baby on a feeding timetable, they won’t put on weight.

Tizzie Hall wrote in response that, “if this was true why would special care baby units put prem babies on a feeding and sleeping routine to help weight gain.” Interesting counter argument don’t you think? All three of Tizzie Hall’s babies were placed in special care units. She then goes on to say, “to get discharged from hospital all three… had to be on a four hour feeding routine.” What Tizzie is saying is that feeding routines encourage weight gain.

Now most of you would be familiar with Pinky McKay and Tizzie Hall. So, for a new mum out there I can see why parenting can be so confusing. So who is right? Both have years of experience and training in their field. Can they both be right?

Here is where I stand, exactly in the middle. I think they are both right. Why does it have to be one way or the other? Why can’t lactation consultants and sleep consultants work together? Food and sleep are the two basic needs of a newborn, apart from love. When I work with a family who has a newborn, I look at both. Establishing healthy feeding is a priority but so is sleep. If your baby isn’t eating well, they are not going to sleep.

If you solely look at feeds and whenever your baby cries you feed them, this will encourage them to snack feed and fall asleep on the boob. The feed will not be complete. Only having a little food in their tummy will mean your baby will cat nap and wake up hungry.

If you solely look at a sleep schedule, your baby may in fact be hungry and you will have lots of crying as you try and force them to sleep. This is not fun for any mother or baby.

My advice is to educate yourself on both topics. Choose someone like me who will sift through the extremes and actually teach you how to read your babies tired and hunger cues. Having a loose schedule helps you to determine if your baby is tired or hungry. Forcing a baby to eat when tired isn’t the answer either. Establishing healthy sleep habits from birth does not include any sort of ‘cry-it-out’ methods. Not all sleep consultants are militant about schedules and hopefully the same goes for lactation consultants.

If you are confused and do want a little direction, contact me about my newborn programs. Arming yourself with the right information is about making your job as a parents easier, not harder.

Janelle Jeffery

To read the Pinky McKay article, click here.

Asking for help can be hard

askhelpI can be quite an anxious person. When things start to get on top of me, everything else seems to snowball.

Over the past five years, there have been a series of huge events that have happened in my life. For a perfectionist trying to keep all the balls in the air, my anxiety does a very annoying thing – it manifest at night. All day I can keep myself busy, pretend the problems are not there; but at night, when the house is quiet, my mind switches on. The strange thing is that I seem to fall asleep fine, but at 3am I bolt upright, my brain turns on and the rest of the night is a struggle.

As a sleep consultant I find it quite humorous that I have trouble sleeping. Without consolidated sleep, my level of anxiety gets worse and though I try to fool myself that everything is fine and I just can’t keep it together. I can cry at the drop of a hat or explode if my husband looks at me the wrong way. Poor sod! I seemed to have permanent PMS.

Last year when everything reached it’s peak I was starting to show physical symptoms as well as emotional ones. I was chatting to my very good friend on the phone when I suddenly I burst into tears. She said “Janelle you need to get some professional help.” I knew that too but I felt like a failure, a phony, a fake. I felt like a fool.

I knew what the problem was and what I needed to change, but I just didn’t know how to. Everything I was trying wasn’t working anymore. I also knew it wasn’t going to be a quick fix. I needed a sounding board to make these changes in a way that would give me a long-term outcome – not a quick fix. I decided to visit a recommended psychologist to see if together we could give my brain some peace and quiet. I had to ask for help.

This is often the case with the many families I have helped with baby sleep. They know things need to change, but they just don’t know how. They want support – that is the key to long-term success.

Lots of friends and family can give you tips and advice. You can buy a book and find the answers yourself. I could have bought a self-help book and tried to do it myself but there comes a time to seek out professional help. It is not as scary as you may think. What is the worst that could happen? What is the best that could happen?

If you feel that the time is right for you so seek professional help for your baby’s sleep, I am here for you. Reach out and contact me. I understand – I have been there too.

Sleep Well,

Janelle Jeffery
Sleep Consultant for Sleepytime

 

“Sleep Training” is a Dirty Word

sleeptimeSince becoming a child sleep consultant and the birth of Sleepytime, my eyes have been opened to the world of mummy bashing and misunderstanding.

When talking to parents about what I do, or post on Facebook, write an email or whatever, I am very, very careful not to mention the phrase “sleep training”. Why? It is taboo, a dirty word. I do not want to be condemned for it nor associated with it.

I started to question myself as to why I had a problem with it. It was because it made me feel icky. When you hear “sleep training” you think of this right?

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We immediately conjure up this picture of this teeny, tiny child being put through its paces. The sweat and tears to reach the ultimate goal of baby sleeping through the night. Hurrah!

Well guess what? Sleep consultants (good ones!!) DO NOT train babies, they TRAIN PARENTS. The definition of the word ‘training’ says it all. Training is the “acquisition of knowledge and skills.” A baby cannot do this. The word ‘training’ also means; instruction, teaching, coaching, guiding and educating.

A reputable sleep consultant (see below) actually spends the time educating parents as to why their child is having difficulty sleeping through the night and trouble with having decent naps in the day. They do not simply try to bandaid it and sell you a quick fix solution. Sleep consultants understand the why and they teach parents what they need to do to change that.

Sleep training is about giving parents the skills and tools to make those changes using the most gentle and effective way possible, putting the needs of the baby first. It is about empowering parents so THEY feel confident in what THEY are doing. Choose a sleep consultant that will listen to you and tailor a program to meet the needs of YOUR family.

The most important role of any sleep consultant is to provide guidance and support to the parents during this transition. Yep, it can be a bumpy road but it is important for parents to have someone on hand to instruct them through this. Someone to hold his or her hand. Someone to be there if things get a little rough.

If you need to get fit, you hire a personal trainer. My nephew goes to basketball and football training every week. When you start a new job you get ‘on the job training’. Being educated and learning new things is at the core of our existence.

So, my dirty little secret is finally out. Phew, I feel a weight being lifted off my shoulders. I, Janelle Jeffery am a sleep trainer. I do not train babies but I sure do train parents. I give families to best gift ever, the gift of sleep and I am proud of myself that I am able to offer this.

Sleep well,

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Janelle Jeffery

Sleep Consultant for Sleepytime.

Make sure you check the following criteria before hiring any sleep consultant.
• Are they qualified?
• Will they tailor a program to suit the needs of your child?
• Will they listen to your concerns?
• Will they be there to support you every step of the way?

Contact me here!